The Pull of Yesterday by Gabriella West

Author:Gabriella West [West, Gabriella]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: addiction, san francisco, mm romance, bisexuality, gay relationships, survivors of child sexual abuse, lgbt romance, nonmonogamy, gay and lesbian romance, breakups and new beginnings
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

12.

I was flying back into winter, which seemed so fucking unfair. It would be 20, 30 degrees in Boston, probably snowing still in early Feb. As I’d driven to the airport in the early morning hours, I saw the cherry trees had started to bloom on Elsie Street. I’d actually stopped the car on the downward slope to look. The sight of the pink blossoms had startled me, made me smile. But this was part of the magic of the West Coast, these early blooms due to the mild winters. Everyone took it for granted here.

I wore a bulky, fleece-lined jacket on the plane, which would have to tide me over on the trip, and I’d brought gloves and a scarf. I’d no idea if that would be enough. There wasn’t room in my duffel bag for a suit for the funeral, even if I’d had one. Someone would give me one, I thought. Some relative, or maybe I’d wear one of Dad’s. Did he own a suit? I couldn’t remember ever seeing him in one.

One businessman was snoring softly beside me, the other still clicking away on his keyboard. I put my cheap sunglasses on my face, remembering. This morning I had dressed quietly after pulling myself away from Aaron’s warm body on the bed. He didn’t wake up for me, and perhaps that was because I’d thoroughly exhausted him the night before. My throat contracted. Something else to feel guilty about. I shouldn’t have done it, I thought. He’d looked so happy afterward. He still loved me, no matter how aloof he acted, and it was going to make the parting harder.

But maybe I was deluding myself that Matt would go through with any of this. He’d dropped hints about his future, asked me what I wanted, but I hadn’t exactly made it easy for him to plan anything. I sighed deeply. The last time I had trusted him, the time I’d been so certain he loved me, he’d disappeared. The scars of that ten-year-old trauma were still with me, no matter how much I rationally understood what had happened. Anyway, it seemed too good to be true, the way his marriage had just vaporized. I didn’t think he was lying to me... but he’d probably come to his senses eventually. Hell, I might be his rebound fling. His mother didn’t like me... And on and on my thoughts ran.

They also lingered on an encounter at the Museum a few days before, over the weekend, not long after I’d seen Matt for dinner in his home.

Mike had strolled up to me in the parking lot. I was standing there at the open trunk of my car, unprepared. Just standing, thinking, remembering that evening in Matt’s bedroom. Happy for a sec.

It had been months since I’d looked at Mike’s face up close.

He looked sneering, which was odd. I waited, puzzled. Finally he said:

“So, Wendy and I were having dinner with Elaine Cohen and a few other people last Thursday. She had quite a tale to tell.

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